Dear All of You, First of all, I’d like to say that I’m extremely thankful that I’ll be spending Thanksgiving with you today. Having you...

This week, I would like to refrain from mentioning that it is Friday, that there is a new “Words For Your Enjoyment” coming your way, and...

Yes, I am a pretty stingy bastard when it comes to providing links at the left of this blog. People like Bryant Gumbel and Luke Perry and...

Sometimes, it’s not the most positive experience when you realize that your life and an actual motion picture are, in fact, one in the...

Being a living, breathing, rotting corpse would present quite a few problems in my life. Mostly, I think going out with people for dinner...

I am in Las Vegas. Yes. Right this minute. As you read this I am probably either sleeping, eating a huge shrimp cocktail the size of my...

Them: “Would you like bread and utensils with that?” Me: “Why would I want utensils with that?” Them: “Uh… So you can EAT when you...

It seems as though people don’t believe me when I tell them that I can still eat three packets of crackers in less than a minute without...

I am a geek. And in an attempt to celebrate all that is geekiness, I am currently moblogging from a sitting position here at the...

I was standing in the candy aisle when the ruckus started. Yes, a ruckus. A big ‘ol, noisy, crazy, arm-shuffling, leg twitching ruckus...

Let me set the scene. There’s currently a TV commercial running on California TV. It’s a political commercial that stars Arnold...

It just ain’t happenin’, people. Saturday Night Live has basically sucked for a long long long long time. Periodically you get a sketch...

I could so be your assassin. Now, let’s just clarify things for a moment here. When I say “I could so be your assassin” I do not mean...

Alas, greetings to you and yours on this hereth day doth referred to as such. Friday! Hath sadness but opposite, WFME’s resident fat...

A stream of consciousness, if you will. I was in a supermarket the other day and an African-American man was giving the white kid behind...

In the immortal words of Ferris Bueller’s Cameron Frye: “They’ll keep callin’… They’ll keep callin’…” And that’s exactly what they do....

Sure, you may know Danny Masterson from the popular FOX show That 70’s Show and recognize him for his trademark “fro” of curls. Recently...

I have given up obsessing over my head being huge, just so you know. That’s because something much more sinister has appeared on the...

When I had finished putting together Consumer Joe, that was the point in time when I had my agents send it out to the world. That was...

I was thinking about thinking, today. You know, the fact that when you think about what you’re thinking — usually, you don’t have much to...